Happiness Is A Choice

Happiness is a choice.  

Think about that for a minute.

You can choose to be happy.  

I teach my students to make good choices and how to choose the most effective math strategy. I teach them that their choices have consequences and how to choose a topic for their small moment writing. I teach them that sitting next to their best friend during an assembly is not a good choice and that when it says favorite, they may only choose one.     

But I've never taught my students that they have the ability to choose how they feel.

Until today (Last Thursday. It takes me a while to complete each blog).    

See last week one of my students was disappointed with a decision I made and told me they were sad. I told them that it was okay to be sad and that it was their choice. And they just stared at me. Crickets...Just kidding.

We teach our students that they have control over their physical behaviors and they are capable of making cognitive decisions.  But when it comes to emotions, we (okay I) tend to leave them with the impression they are powerless. 

In terms of emotional education, I teach my students to control their physical response to their emotions: You can't yell at them just because they made you mad, I know you are excited but stop jumping up and down, being annoyed does not give you the right to roll your eyes! And I teach them that its okay to feel how you feel.  But why not teach them they play a role in deciding how they feel?        

It must be really scary to think that you can only be happy as long as the circumstances are perfect and that others are there to make you happy.

So today my students journal was:

Happiness is a choice.

• Define
• Example
• Reflect

All of my morning journals follow this form.  I give my students a statement and they write what they think it means.  They then give an example that supports their definition and reflect on how it changes their thinking or how it makes them feel.  We have analyzed famous quotes and contemplated the meaning of boredom.  But today's responses were my favorite.

Here are a few things my 3rd graders said:

"Happiness is a choice means it is your choice to see the positive rather than the negative."

"Happiness is a choice means you get to think about how you feel and make your own choice."

"I think it means that if you don't want to be happy you don't have to, but you will be miserable.  But you can't get mad at anyone about it because it is your choice and if you do want to be happy you could be." 

"It means you have POWER!"

"Everybody has bad days but it doesn't mean you can't still be happy.  Happiness is always in you." 

"Happiness is a choice means if you want to be happy you can be happy.  If you want to be sad you can be sad.  No one can tell you how to feel.  It is your decision."

"There will always be people and things that make you happy, sad, or angry, but you get to decide how they make you feel. Not them."

"For example, if someone is trying to be mean to you and you let them get to you, you let them have your happiness.  But if you ignore them and let it go you pick happiness." 

"Sometimes it is hard to choose happiness but it is worth it! For example, when you are stuck in traffic you can get angry but it won't get you there any faster so why be miserable the whole time?"

"One time I was nervous about going to gymnastic, but I choose to go anyway.  I choose happiness over nervousness."

"Happiness is a choice means if you are having a horrible day you can choose to be miserable or work to try to turn it around."  

"I know that I will still be sad and get angry sometimes, but I like being happy better so I am going to pick that most of the time."   

I do not believe that choosing happiness can overcome depression or other medical conditions.  You cannot choose to change your genetic make-up. 

Nor do I believe that a person should choose to be happy all of the time.  Anger can be extremely powerful and sadness allows us to truly feel the moments that make us human.  

Our emotions are tools.  We just need to teach our kids how to use them.