Wednesday, December 14, 2016

For the Love of Writing

I teach my students that good writers write and they write and they write. But as an adult, outside of my classroom, the only writing I was doing came in the form of to-do lists and grad papers. Lots and lots and lots of to-do lists, and lots and lots of grad papers, but to-do lists and grad papers none the less. I'm pretty sure this is not what Lucy Calkins had in mind when she told teachers to write vastly.

But who has the time?

Since I was a student teacher I have been told to keep a journal.  I have been told to write about my experiences and reflect on my successes and struggles. I have been told to review my entries and make notes for the future. Every year this advice is shared in at least one professional development session I attend. And every year I write nothing.

Seriously, who has the time?

The question I should have been asking is, what is my purpose?

I wanted to keep a journal and reflect on my successes and struggles. I wanted to review my reflections and make notes for the future. I wanted to use my entries to be a better teacher. But in a teacher's life of needs and wants, journaling was at the bottom of my many, many to-do lists.

Until I decided I wanted to write a blog.

What is the first thing a person does when they decide they want to write a blog? Buy a journal of course. Journaling went from being a want to a need and I am so glad that it did.

Not only was I reflecting on my teaching, but I was also working through the writing process I require of my students.  And for the first time I was feeling what they feel. I have written numerous stories with my students, but those pieces of text were for them.  It's amazing how different the writing process feels when the purpose is personal.      

I began by generating ideas. What do I want to write about?

Here is what I came up with:

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I no longer show frustration when my students say they can't think of anything. I show empathy and provide strategies. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to write when you have no idea what it is you want to say?

But just like with my students, once I got one down, my ideas flooded the page.  Some days I added numerous topics to my list, other days I just reflected on which ones I am ready to write about. My "ideas page" (now pages) is my favorite. It's a page of beginning. And I like beginnings. It is a page filled with hopes and questions. I add to my list often and I teach my students to do the same.  Ideas do not come to a writer solely on the day they are assigned to generate them.  Ideas are all around us and while in the past I would think something is a great idea, now I write those ideas down.  I watch some of my students do it too.  When I see them quietly take out their writing journal during math or recess or science, jot something down, and then they quickly return it to their desk, I can't help but smile. I know what they are doing.  They are remembering, they are recording, they are writing.

I draft stories the same way my students do. I try each idea on for size.  I abandon stories that don't fit the way I thought they would and I rework others the best I can.  I care more about the content than the conventions. And I accept that while writing is never done, there is a time to finish.

I believe so deeply in this process, but it is much easier to teach it than it is to do it.  It is hard to walk away from a story that is just not working. To give up on an idea you love and have spent hours on.  And it is hard to move past wasting time of whether or not the comma goes inside or outside the quotation marks. And if it's quotation marks or quotation mark. And it is incredibly hard to stop working on a piece of writing. To stop reading it over and over again hoping the right word will come to you this time. But I do it.  And the more I do it, the easier it gets.  

The more I do it, the more I find my "inky courage". The more my students do it, the bolder their writing becomes.  The most valuable writing skill I hope my students learn is that what they have to say matters.  I'm learning this too. 

I empower my students to share their writing and ideas with others and to share what has worked and what hasn't. I share my writing too. Thank you for reading. 

And as a class, we celebrate our writing. We celebrate the journey and the work that went into creating something new.  We celebrate our courage and accomplishments. We celebrate what could be next. We celebrate our pride in our work. 

I'm still working on the celebrating part.  As an adult I have a hard time being proud of myself.  But through this process, that is actually what I am learning to do.  I hope my students learn this too. It's amazing how much you can learn from the work we ask of 8 year olds.  

Monday, December 5, 2016

Happiness Is A Choice

Happiness is a choice.  

Think about that for a minute.

You can choose to be happy.  

I teach my students to make good choices and how to choose the most effective math strategy. I teach them that their choices have consequences and how to choose a topic for their small moment writing. I teach them that sitting next to their best friend during an assembly is not a good choice and that when it says favorite, they may only choose one.     

But I've never taught my students that they have the ability to choose how they feel.

Until today (Last Thursday. It takes me a while to complete each blog).    

See last week one of my students was disappointed with a decision I made and told me they were sad. I told them that it was okay to be sad and that it was their choice. And they just stared at me. Crickets...Just kidding.

We teach our students that they have control over their physical behaviors and they are capable of making cognitive decisions.  But when it comes to emotions, we (okay I) tend to leave them with the impression they are powerless. 

In terms of emotional education, I teach my students to control their physical response to their emotions: You can't yell at them just because they made you mad, I know you are excited but stop jumping up and down, being annoyed does not give you the right to roll your eyes! And I teach them that its okay to feel how you feel.  But why not teach them they play a role in deciding how they feel?        

It must be really scary to think that you can only be happy as long as the circumstances are perfect and that others are there to make you happy.

So today my students journal was:

Happiness is a choice.
  • Define
  • Example
  • Reflect
All of my morning journals follow this form.  I give my students a statement and they write what they think it means.  They then give an example that supports their definition and reflect on how it changes their thinking or how it makes them feel.  We have analyzed famous quotes and contemplated the meaning of boredom.  But today's responses were my favorite.

Here are a few things my 3rd graders said:

"Happiness is a choice means it is your choice to see the positive rather than the negative."

"Happiness is a choice means you get to think about how you feel and make your own choice."

"I think it means that if you don't want to be happy you don't have to, but you will be miserable.  But you can't get mad at anyone about it because it is your choice and if you do want to be happy you could be." 

"It means you have POWER!"

"Everybody has bad days but it doesn't mean you can't still be happy.  Happiness is always in you." 

"Happiness is a choice means if you want to be happy you can be happy.  If you want to be sad you can be sad.  No one can tell you how to feel.  It is your decision."

"There will always be people and things that make you happy, sad, or angry, but you get to decide how they make you feel. Not them."

"For example, if someone is trying to be mean to you and you let them get to you, you let them have your happiness.  But if you ignore them and let it go you pick happiness." 

"Sometimes it is hard to choose happiness but it is worth it! For example, when you are stuck in traffic you can get angry but it won't get you there any faster so why be miserable the whole time?"

"One time I was nervous about going to gymnastic, but I choose to go anyway.  I choose happiness over nervousness."

"Happiness is a choice means if you are having a horrible day you can choose to be miserable or work to try to turn it around."  

"I know that I will still be sad and get angry sometimes, but I like being happy better so I am going to pick that most of the time."   

I do not believe that choosing happiness can overcome depression or other medical conditions.  You cannot choose to change your genetic make-up. 

Nor do I believe that a person should choose to be happy all of the time.  Anger can be extremely powerful and sadness allows us to truly feel the moments that make us human.  

Our emotions are tools.  We just need to teach our kids how to use them.


   

    

Sunday, November 20, 2016

The Thing About Stories

The thing about stories is that they have so much value!  They take their readers to places they have never experienced in the world and in themselves.  They provide comfort and inspire curiosity to those who devour the content of their pages.  They teach empathy and understanding. They have the power to fuel your soul.  

The thing about stories for me though, is until about 10 years ago, I never read them.  Ever.

I would read, but I would stick to things like school assignments, directions, and Facebook posts.  The idea of picking up a book to fuel my soul?  Well, that just was't happening.

See the things about stories is they tell as much about the reader as they do the characters that live in them.  And as a reader, my story had not been good.  

When I was in kindergarten, I was identified as "gifted" . I didn't know what this meant, other than I got to go on a field trip to learn about musical instruments from around the world and I thought that was pretty cool.

In second grade, it turns out, I was no longer "gifted".  I didn't know this until my field trip buddies went without me to learn about Oobleck and I thought that would have been pretty cool.  

By fourth grade I was identified as dyslexic and placed into the resource room.  I would find myself in remedial English classes for the rest of my educational career.  My field trip buddies kept learning things that were pretty cool and I kept learning how to decode the word because

So while I always knew that reading was valuable and that it brought so much joy to so many children and adults, for me it was just another reminder that I wasn't like everyone else.  That I wasn't the student they thought I was going to be.

So I stopped trying to find the pleasure in reading and I put down the stories.

Until one day, when I first started teaching and I picked up Phillip Done's 32 Third Graders and One Class Bunny and I didn't put it down.

I was able to see myself so clearly in the stories he told.  I found comfort in his struggles and hope in his accomplishments.  His writing was honest.  And it was easy to read.

There is a misconception in education that in order for a story to be meaningful it needs to be complicated and deep.  Done's book provided me with greater meaning than anything I would have been able to synthesize from Shakespeare or Hemingway.  I found acceptance and a story that was able to fuel my soul.  

As a teacher, I work hard to empower my students to pick up books and find stories that are meaningful to them.  I stock my bookshelves with all types of stories.  Some that I love, like Frindle and A Chair for My Mother.  Some that they love, like Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Captain Underpants.  All are meaningful.  All are valued.   

I hope that all my students love books, but I know this is not true.  So I also work hard to show my reluctant readers empathy and support when they feel forced to put stories down. It is not easy to watch them pull away, but I don't lose hope.  I know, that if we create an environment that is safe and values all stories, that one day they will pick them back up.   

See the thing about stories is they are not for everyone all the time. But, when you need one, and it's the right one, it can change your life.  Thank you Phillip Done for changing mine.              

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Finding My Voice Among The Crickets

A dear friend of mine has this wonderful way of describing awkward silence in just two words:

Crickets...Crickets.

To me it so adequately explains that empty space that hangs at the end of a question and is filled with nothing.  That space that you know should be filled with something, but isn't. There's just nothing...except the sound of crickets.

We are not talking about that silent, peaceful moment at the start of a school day before the kids arrive, or the comfortable silence that my husband and I enjoy at the end of the day. We are talking about when I point-blank ask a student if they are buying lunch today and they just stare at me:

Crickets...Crickets.

And that is exactly the space I find myself in now.

A few weeks ago I declared to my principal that I was going to start blogging because I had something to say.  Something important. Something worth sharing! 

My principal was thrilled! He gushed and he encouraged. He said all the right things. And then he asked the inevitable question:

So what do you want to say?

Crickets...Crickets.

So maybe I jumped the gun here.  I don't know what I want to say, but I know it's in there.  I can feel it.  

It's the same feeling I get at the beginning of something - the beginning of a relationship, the beginning of a school year, the beginning of summer vacation!  It's the feeling I have at the beginning of Star Wars! When those first few notes play, my heart dances with anticipation and excitement.  It's that feeling that something great is going to happen. 

That is how I feel right now.  The crickets maybe chirping, but I know this is the beginning of something great.  

I'm just not sure what that something is yet.