This decision led me to reread Dr. Tim Elmore's book series Habitudes: Images That Form Leadership Habits & Attitudes. The series explores leadership principles through memorable images and short stories. The principles are astutely simple and relatable. You are suppose to read one story a day and reflect on its value and role in your life. I decided to read them all in one day and told myself that, at some point, I would reflect on their values and roles in my life. That is until I got to the lesson of The Indian Talking Stick.
Elmore uses the image and story of The Indian Talking Stick to teach that, before you can lead, you must listen. I needed to stop to think about that one.
I wholeheartedly believe in getting to know each child that I teach, empowering them to find their voice, valuing my students impute, and all those wonderful components of teaching. But when I reflect on my practices, I talk first and then listen. So am I really hearing their voice or am I just hearing their answer to my question?
At the end of the The Indian Talking Stick, Elmore challenges his readers to go a day without talking and record what they learn in the process. So I gave in to Elmore's advice and I took the time to reflect on this principle and accepted his challenge.
I knew I couldn't do a day without talking. That was too big of a step for me and my students. So instead this is what my students saw on the board when they came in that morning:
Today I will talk less and listen more. I will still teach what you need for your lessons and speak up if it is a matter of safety. I will still be able to offer assistance and guide you when needed. Today you will work with your classmates and find confidence in your voice.
Here is what I learned:
- I learned that I have unintentionally trained my students to turn to me first. Regardless if an activity needs clarification, my student will wait for me to explain it because that is what I do -- every time. I give an assignment, explain the assignment, and get frustrated when my students start the assignment before I'm done explaining it. I even implied it in my message -- "I will still teach what you need for your lessons". I need to work on this.
- I learned that I interrupt my students to tell them what I think rather than waiting to hear what they think. I need to work on this too.
- I learned who got what for Christmas or Hanukkah. Not because I asked, but because they wanted to shared and were looking for someone to listen. I'm glad I got to hear their stories.
- I learned that multiplication facts are hard. And that even through they practice their flash cards and know which strategies to use, my students who are struggling are also hurting. I learned I need to find a balance between motivating them to improve and encouraging and supporting them as they work through the process.
- I learned that a few of my students who fell behind during math spent 5 minutes complaining about 4 problems and 2 minutes actually completing them. I learned just how important it is to look at all factors when deciding how to best support my students. (I had planned on doing a skills based mini-lesson. Instead I will be focusing on time management.)
- I learned that my students are really good at helping each other and give compliments often. I learned that this made me the proudest.
- I learned that my students know when they are getting too loud. I also learned that they yell to tell everyone they are getting to loud.
- I learned I need to stop yelling to tell my students they are getting too loud.
- I learned that Fitbits were the hot gift this winter. I learned how many steps my students got, how many steps they would like to get, and how they plan on getting them. I also learned how I will be teaching goal setting this year.
- Most importantly, I learned that my students are pretty outstanding. I always knew this, but when I stopped focusing on what I needed to tell/show them and actually listened/looked at what they are already doing, it made me smile.
These were just a few things I learned on that day -- the ones that I was able to write down. But the lessons I learned aren't limited to that day. I learned reflecting has value and is required to transition from knowing to doing. I learned that change is difficult and that although, as teachers, we strive to create a learning environment that offers students choices and exploration, old habits are hard to break. This is why we must keep an honest inventory of our practices and make adjustments directed towards our vision.
And I learned that if we truly want to put students at the heart of learning, we need to learn to listen first.
